At such moments I find that I miss being with my ma, who threw me out of her place long ago. I miss her, because inside—where no one else can see—I’m still a child, and because with her I’m at ease, and I don’t have to torture myself, and I don’t have doubts about nothing, ‘cause she makes things cut and dried, even if she has to slap me for it.
So even though we’re married now, I don’t really feel I belong here, in this place. An outcast: that’s me.
So I storm past him—but Lenny lays his hand on me. Grabbing me by the shoulder, he brings me to a standstill.
“Stop! Stop, Anita,” he says. “We have to talk.”
“Whatever,” I say, “I’m done talking,” even though we both reckon that like, the only thing I’ve swapped with him since this morning was my silence for his.
And he goes, “Maybe you are—but I am not.”
And I don’t say nothing, ‘cause like, what’s the point? Between his son and me, I bet I know whose story he’s gonna believe.
And so he presses on, “There is something, Anita, something I must tell you.”
“What,” I say. “You leaving me again, Lenny?”
“Going back to work,” he says, which takes the wind right out of me.
“Really?” I gape at him, and notice that his briefcase is right there on the floor, at his feet. “So soon? You sure you’re up to it? Like, with the limping and all?”
“Yes,” he says, and lets go of me. “It is time. I cannot afford staying home any longer.”
And, seeing that I stare at him as if to ask, Now, what does that mean, he goes on to say, “It means, jobs are hard to come by, Anita. Especially,” he adds, “at my age.”“Fine, then,” I say, and lift his briefcase from the floor, to save him the trouble, and I hand the thing to him. But instead of taking it, he grips me again, this time by my waist, and turns me to the light, like, to read me.
Anita in My Own Voice
"Uvi Poznansky's, "My Own Voice," is a creative, gripping and deeply moving tale of a young girl coming of age in unfathomable emotional circumstances."
- Bill Cronin, Author