Who Said You Need A Book Trailer?

Book trailers have become such commonplace in today's literary market, that no one seems to question their value as a promotional tool. I do. Nearly all the trailers I've seen are hopelessly boring, with the title of the book and some key phrases traveling across the screen this way and that, to the sound of some elevator music that can barely keep me from nodding off. There are, of course, exceptions--your trailer may well be one of them, and I would be happy to see it if you leave me a link below--here are two I enjoyed: Six Packs of Blood, which is professionally done, with an incredible ear for peaks and valleys in the music, to highlight the suspense, and The Sacred Band, which brings me back to ancient times... 

But even so, is this really the way readers find books? Have you ever selected a book because you saw a trailer? In my case, the answer is a resounding No. I would rather read an excerpt, a book description, learn about the writer, recieve a recommendation, or read a highly favorable review. In short, I select a book because I read about it, not because I saw a title flashing by before my eyes. 

Now, I am no stranger to creating animations; see my process for Now I Am Paper and Jess and Wiggle. So? Will I put together my own book trailer, any time soon? Don't hold your breath... I am setting my eyes on a higher aim... Waiting for the full-length movie to come out one day... Hey, a girl is allowed to entertain a secret dream--right?

Incidentally, I came across a great article, published on the pages of the New York Times,  on this very issue. The article, written with delightful humor by Tim Kreider, starts with these words: 

"The first time I'd ever heard that there were video previews for books was when I was told I had to made one. A few months before my own book was to be released, my publisher advised me that official book trailers were now routinely posted on YouTube as a promotional device. I was skeptical, but remembering how instrumental video was in advancing the career of Men Without Hats, I acquiesced..."

You can read the rest of it here: Like the Video? I Wrote the Book

Chinese Tea Kettle

Tilt down the spout, slowly: one, two, three,

Till – drip! Out pours the strangest green tea,

Sniff, whiff and sniffle… Then chant softly with me

Right over the vapors: Harmony… Peace… Longevity…

From carpets to scarves, from pearls to silk

And lotions that turn your skin whiter than milk

In search for a bargain, ignoring the aura

Leave no stone unturned in the Great Wall of China

In the depths of Ming Tombs, the dead come alive

To pay their respects to all who arrive,

All who carry massive nick-knacks, ‘Knee high!’

And wave like royalty aboard the rickshaw

The emperor had the most delectable feast

His concubines wore nothing but perfumes of the East

Perfumes that would drive you to madness, oh Lord!

Perfumes that I can no longer afford

Every place, every name, every phrase you could mind

In my notebook I write every thing of every kind

Summer Palace in front, Temple of Heaven behind

I has little choice but to smile and unwind

Shanghai Pork? Too succulent! Peking Duck? Too lame!

So are other dishes of questionable fame.

With a rare taste for the finest, the choicest cuisine

I eat practically nothing – except for ice cream.

My rhyme may be clunky; my line may be long,

I may have said something entirely wrong,

If you find it offensive, do with me as you please

With a single exception: never serve me Chinese!

Now sniff, whiff and sniffle… Then chant softly with me

Right over the vapors: Harmony… Peace… Longevity…

A Flow Chart for Surviving the Breakfast Blues

This week it's all about ice cream. The other day I posted And Now for Something Completely Different, which showed the ice cream cake I made with Marzipan chess pieces on top. Today it's a flow chart (which I made for my loved one) for surviving the breakfast blues.

1. Start.
2. Eat vegetables. (That's all you'll get from her, for breakfast.)
3. Hungry? If Yes, complain to Wife, and she'll tell you: go back to step 2.
4. If No, tiptoe to the refrigerator.
5. Did she notice? If Yes, change direction: go to the sink, wash dishes, end.
6. If No, eat ice cream.
7. Feel guilty? If No, Go back to step 6.
8. If Yes, bite your fingernails.
9. Did she notice? If No, go back to step 8, until she does.
10.  If Yes, make amends: go to the sink, wash dishes, end.

A Chinese Mystery from Ming Dynasty?

A new 5-star review has been posted this evening by Oleg Medvedkov. If you have read any of his books, you know that his pen oozes incredibly hilarious humor. Oleg is the author of How to Successfully Remove Any Negative Feedback on eBay!, Attila the Hun, CIA Hamster, Time Machine, Samurai's Confessions and more. Humorous Stories, Funny Tales and Amusing Anecdotes, and the latest installment in his Laugh series, Take a Break & Have a Laugh Series. Passionate Mind-Control Worms, Cool Cats of Fortune, The Art of Getting a Sandwich and more. So when I spotted the first sentence in his review, saying that my story was reminiscent of a Chinese mystery from Ming Dynasty, I was absolutely sure he's joking--only to realize it was written, by a surprising twist, with utter seriousness. Go figure...

5.0 out of 5 stars Apart From Love, July 3, 2012 By  Oleg Medvedkov "How to Prevent Unicorns from ... (Sacramento, CA) - See all my reviews (TOP 1000 REVIEWER)    This review is from: Apart From Love (Kindle Edition) To me, this novel is reminiscent of a Chinese mystery from Ming Dynasty. Allow me to elaborate - we know WHAT crime was committed; we know HOW it was done; we know WHO committed the crime. Now we need to find answers to the following questions - WHY the crime was committed and what PUNISHMENT the criminal would or deserve to receive. Take it from there and we spend a lot of time inside main characters' heads unraveling these mysteries all through the story which makes for a fascinating and twisted reading. Surprisingly enough, my favorite part was the back story of the Aunts, which has only remote connection to the main plot. Somehow, it resonated with me the most. Not being an artist, I can only say what I think of the book's cover with a haiku: The chest tightens, Shift your foot slightly To see her lipstick on the glass. One more thing of note - this is by far the BEST formatted and arranged Kindle book I've ever seen. If you've seen better or even approaching this level of quality, do let me know, I'd like to see it for myself. -I recieved a complimentary copy of the book in exchange for an honest review. This is not a paid review.-

A Battlefield in Black and White

Yesterday I posted And Now for Something Completely Different, which showed the ice cream cake I made with Marzipan chess pieces on top. Today, to continue the same theme, I present a chess set I made out of clay some years back. Don't expect any 'regularity' in these pieces: one pawn is not exactly the same as another, as each was sculpted (rather than molded) individually. This, I believe, is the charm of the set. 

Every chess set has a worldview behind it. 

• The king is frail and old. Knowing his weakness he is trembling in fear under his fur coat. 
• The queen is young and forceful. She has no doubt that she is the real power around here. 
• The Bishop thinks himself a war hero, striking a Napoleonic pose with hands behind his back. 
• The pawns are sent to the battlefield ill-equipped, scared to death, and barefoot.

And Now for Something Completely Different...

I throw everything I have into everything I do. A few days ago I posted an excerpt from my book, describing The First Time She Laid Eyes on Him which, as luck would have it, happened in an ice cream parlor. You might have guessed already that I have a true passion--no, not for the hero of the story, but for ice cream. So this week, I thought I would post fun images about what I crave most, right at this minute...

So here is the last piece of a layered Ice Cream Birthday cake I made for my loved one. You have to spread the first layer (chocolate) freeze it solid, take it out to spread the next layer (vanilla) freeze it solid, take it out to spread the top layer (chocolate) and freeze it solid before you can start decorating. There was a checkerboard on top, which I made out of marzipan. The chess pieces on top are hand-made from marzipan. So you might say it is a true labor of love.

Now, hurry up and bring a spoon before it melts, honey! 

I Stole It... So Sue Me!

Who was it who said, "Other artists borrow--I steal"? Picasso? Did he steal the saying, too? 
A couple of days ago I came across this image, somewhere in my travels around Facebook. It should not be regarded as stealing, if it says exactly what is on my mind, right?

Then again, if this image is yours, I will--at a moment's notice--duck under my desk...