Chinese Tea Kettle

Tilt down the spout, slowly: one, two, three,

Till – drip! Out pours the strangest green tea,

Sniff, whiff and sniffle… Then chant softly with me

Right over the vapors: Harmony… Peace… Longevity…

From carpets to scarves, from pearls to silk

And lotions that turn your skin whiter than milk

In search for a bargain, ignoring the aura

Leave no stone unturned in the Great Wall of China

In the depths of Ming Tombs, the dead come alive

To pay their respects to all who arrive,

All who carry massive nick-knacks, ‘Knee high!’

And wave like royalty aboard the rickshaw

The emperor had the most delectable feast

His concubines wore nothing but perfumes of the East

Perfumes that would drive you to madness, oh Lord!

Perfumes that I can no longer afford

Every place, every name, every phrase you could mind

In my notebook I write every thing of every kind

Summer Palace in front, Temple of Heaven behind

I has little choice but to smile and unwind

Shanghai Pork? Too succulent! Peking Duck? Too lame!

So are other dishes of questionable fame.

With a rare taste for the finest, the choicest cuisine

I eat practically nothing – except for ice cream.

My rhyme may be clunky; my line may be long,

I may have said something entirely wrong,

If you find it offensive, do with me as you please

With a single exception: never serve me Chinese!

Now sniff, whiff and sniffle… Then chant softly with me

Right over the vapors: Harmony… Peace… Longevity…